Tuesday, December 31, 2013

The truck driver's foot prints

The fire grows dim. Needs another log.from outside.
Pulling the log from the wood pile it catches my eye.
So long ago. 
And here we are.
Stealing these moments that possibly save our souls.

The truck driver stopped.....briefly

I could hear the Jake brake as I sat at my easel painting. I grew warm and wet, i gushed as heard the the cab door open. Worried he would find the door locked I run to the other side of the house as he opened the side door just in time to catch me run. The smile grow on his face as my words stumbled out of my mouth. 

He took my in his his as he explained that he couldn't stay long. The boss had ordered him to come back soon. There was a storm coming in from east, a bad one. 

"I can't stay, I just stopped in, i didn't want to just pass." He hugged me, and kissed me. Then asked if i would stop texting sexy messages to him. "They make me hard" he said. "I am hard now" I said I would as he snuggled me close. "Are you lying" he said. Yes, we giggled

He asked what I was up to, i eagerly took him to my studio to see my painting. As we walked in he said it was hot, me too He asked if It were the menopause making me hot. I said yes it is the menopause that happens here, gesturing to my pelvis. And I am very wet. He looked at my painting, "I just don't know how people do this" I answered neither do I . We laughed again. He loked at me expectly we to tell him. I told him once in a text I could not paint if it were not for his touch, and all it gave to me.

As I walked him to the door from behind he undid my trousers. Reaching in he felt my wet pussy.

"It has to be fast" An apologetic look my way as we decided to have him fuck me from behind in front of the fire place. We fucked as he talked softly of his fantasy, from his texts the night before. 

We both came, me many times. "My ass is on fire" I guess we were too close to the stone fireplace. Too impassioned to think. 

We chatted about what we were doing for New Years, tonight, I said Painting he would watch a hockey game at the Sully. We kissed. He showed his lip were he was struck with a puck last week. We kissed. 

I walked him to the door. We kissed. 

I listened as he pulled away.



Having confidence issues

Maybe it's another birthday.  But my libido which is highly related to my confidence is at an all time low.

I could blame it on many things from overwork , being overwhelmed by the stress of a failing marriage , or just plain winter blues.

In stead of running away from it I think I will delve into clearing my mental palet with a meditation class.

I run so often in too many directions.  I am going to focus on letting go letting life take care of itself.

Monday, December 30, 2013

Good night

♡♡♡ for some of you it will be the new year.  I wish this one farewell . I hope the best for you all. Those who are feeling sorrow. Peace.

happy new year ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Sexting.

I'm gonna put u on ur hands and knees and I'm gonna eat ur pussy and ur ass, just before u climax I'm gonna stick my cock in ur pussy and a dildo in ur ass and send u to a bone shattering climax

Wow I hate to say this but I am stunned.  Anyone want to help me b plan the sexyest. Overnight ever. I need to know what really turns a man on.

Saw you pass...I was up early

The truck driver texted " can I stop by tomorrow? "
yes please do . I answer.
  " I can't stay long "
no problem will just be nice to see you.  You never do. But best to get back , it is new years eve.
"Some night I will spend the night cause I like sex in the morning"

Me to

Not very intellectual.  Not my type. Not anything you would guess from me. But there it is. The love of my life. 

Sunday, December 29, 2013

Dark , as it is cloudy. But warmer

I love alaska winters , they empathize with me that I am lonely, loveless. I find comfort here in the darkness. 

At least it is truth. 

Stuck

It is -50 and all the pipes are frozen. The toilets would not flush, the car won't start and the gas pump is not working. It is way too cold to ski.

Have been on facebook, chatting and doing projects. It is like my brain can't think. So hard to write anything worth reading.




the spainard

"When will you be in town next? We could meet for lunch and........"

He was sexy, even in a cast that extended from his hip to his foot. We exchanged tatoo photos on our cell phones at the bar, and chatted by thefire. it was dangerous as his wife was always nearby. They came up with club the only ones not on bikes.

He chased me around the kitchen. He texted, and called asking me to meet for yoga and a massage.

Today I met him for lunch. It was so different, out of context. We chatted about his family the holidays, life. interspersed with lets go now to a room, and you would really like this.

I soon realized he was not what i wanted. besides the risk of his biker wife kicking my ass he just wasn't turning me on. The final blow came, "you would be the only one" Really, I was stunned. Who says that, and believes it.

When I was done eating, I reached for the bill, he paid it. I think we both knew at the end it was nice to just be friends.

It was interesting to be on the other side of not being turned on, or having chemistry for someone. I was the one to make the decision to go forward. But having respect and consideration for his feelings.

Saturday, December 28, 2013

Nothing was under the tree

There wasn't a tree in fact. It was easy putting the place back to pre Christmas. The house is still and quiet. 
In fact it is a good thing to let myself rest and recuperate from the opera and other obligations before winter warms up.

Just reading books and hanging out with the dogs.

They always say to exercise more when you injury yourself.  But it feels like I needed to just take it easy.

It's the winter rejuvenation in Chinese medicine my acupuncturists talks about.

Friday, December 27, 2013

Joe is wearing an old sweater

I seem to be knitting lots of things to take the edge off wanting to care for someone.  Why is it that women do this? An inward need to love.

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

For those of you who are wondering. ...

Happy holidays

I want to send this to the husband

He would be so of mad . It is not want you think. I would love a husband I did not have to cheat on.

I bought toys, books gave him permission to fuck whom ever he wanted. 

Our sex life was toucher.  He would kiss me tease me then push me violently aside and masterbate.

He would threaten and tell me who he was fucking.

I remember sighing in my lovers arms after he said I would fuck you everyday he is so lucky. I said he doesn't touch me. His surprised look ....I said it doesn't hurt me any more. 

Sunday, December 22, 2013

Getting ready to go to town

I will be singing with a chorus for midnight mass. It will take some of the loneliness away.  And I get to be with friends too.

It is so beautiful here. But the panic attacks are keeping me up at night.
If I had my house I would move out. I dream about my sweet little garden and how safe it was there.

I never knew I would live with someone functioning with a violent mental illness. 

All my friends know and we have all agreed it is time.

Please send thoughts for this place to sell. Then I can start over.

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Stolen, and thanks Advisertoall.blogspot.com


Truth
“It’s a strange thing, how you can love somebody, how you can be all eaten up inside with needing them – and they simply don’t need you. That’s all there is to it, and neither of you can do anything about it. And they’ll be the same way with someone else, and someone else will be the same way about you and it goes on and on – this desperate need – and only once in a rare million do the same two people need each other.”
— Madeline L’Engle (via 

Feeling lonely and out of sorts

I know it is not the holidays. I don't practice. But it is dark, lonely and everyone of my lovers is caught up in busy. Just a short text, a nod my way, would make my day.

I need more.

Monday, December 16, 2013

All I want for Christmas....

Your shirt, after you have worn it. I want to unwrap you......you are my present, you are my Christmas. This is what I would say, if it were more. If it were real between the truck driver and I.

It is dark and cold. Cabin fever has settled in. Fortunately there is no drone of carols, no cards no gifts. After the drama of last year the husband is at work.

He gave me a card before he left, nothing personal, just a signature, as though signing a document.

No worries, I am long past loving him.

This Christmas season is like one big ptsd attack

Sunday, December 8, 2013

At a play...

I missed out on singing at the museum, or with chorus doing the messiah. Boo hoo. So here I am watching my friends play. Cute small theatre. I have never been here.

Why here? Escaping the crazy at home. Boy did I need a break. He bought a house, didn't heat it, pipes are broken, water everywhere. Can't rent it.....and the clincher, can't pay any bills because he spent all the savings buying it. So fucked. All behind my back.

Good morning sunshine 10:24 AM

Happy Sunday

Life is good husband leaves this week, and I get to sing with friends..... oh and sex is in my future.

Friday, November 29, 2013

It's cold...

Yeah baby, you put me on hold and I'm out in the wind
And it's getting mighty cold
It's colder than a gut-shot bitch wolf dog with nine sucking pups
pulling a number-four trap up a hill in the dead of winter
In the middle of a snowstorm with a mouth full of porcupine quills

Thursday, November 28, 2013

Liberally wined up

Now I have to fuck the husband. Gag.

Not just once, twice mind you. We ate out so as not to hear the insulting remarks he makes about my cooking. It was a great meal , and wine pairing.

Saturday, November 23, 2013

Happy thanksgiving

My knees had the tell tale sign....

And so doses the floor. I had planned to paint hearts in that spot. The spirits of this house had other plans.

As I put the $200.00 jeans in the closet .....paint! Red paint. How could that be. Then I ran to the room. Sure as shit....my knee print on the floor where I dropped, sucked him.

Better than hearts , it makes it, him real. A secret manifested. Just for me.

It just accrued to me

He sunk his face into my pussy like he were at a pie eating contest. With such vigor, delight, and robustness. As he caresses my breasts, a sigh, " I missed my girls".

I relished in the thought......I was his, in this moment..... nothing more is needed.

The husband comes home this week

I have made reservations for thanksgiving dinner at a restaurant. To avoid any conflicts. I have not cooked for him in a few months. It has been agreed that the rude comments, loud pig like squills are hurtful. But mostly the random throwing dinner in the trash and screaming. I scares me. So much so I cry, and huddled in a corner of my studio .....sucking my thumb.

My fantasy this morning

He brings me coffee , puts my feet in his lap as he reads the paper. Telling tid bits, opinions, and banter.

This of course after a night of just plain love making.

Thursday, November 21, 2013

It's the not knowing

Till it happens. Then the kiss . And feeling him melt in my arms. I walk him to the kitchen, to show him the new paint and our room. I painted the floor. He unbuttoned his shirt, I undo his paints. Drop to my knees, take him in my mouth. Kissing his balls, stroking him. We go to my bedroom.  For tge first time we are fully naked , our skin can touch. He eats me, amazing, I shook, he took me with such confidence. I could feel him ....really feel we were connected.

He said I could do this every night. He mentioned spending a weekend. Or maybe a night....in two weeks.
The weather will be very bad tonight. Snow rain. He will have to travel quickly to get home.

As always, I thanked him. He chuckled, and breathlessly said, thank you.

It's the wait...

That stresses me. This time I simply messaged him. "Hi" he responded. That was Monday. If I had not I would have no idea if he was coming or not . In a way it is . Sexy, fun, a zipless fuck. After all it is so quick. Spontaneous. It meams nothing and is everything to me. It remains the same, but because of it I have grown in leaps and bounds. I owe him everything.

Monday, November 18, 2013

-25°

It's fucking cold. I felt so lonely today. After our sales man left and said the driver would not be SD, I was crushed. Had he disappeared forever? I told myself lies and mostly truths. It is just nuts to care for someone who treats me this way. So I texted skier. He listens to everthing and is not judgemental. It is nice to know and have a friend like this.

Sunday, November 17, 2013

You are as tight as a virgin......

He looked at me so seriously. What was I to say? It is not like I work at it. I didn't have sex all summer I said lamely. It was a fact , I am very tight.there. everyone comments on it.
When I had my second child the doctor while sewing me up said " your husband will thank me for this, It will be better than new".

And so has been.

Saturday, November 16, 2013

FFF ....this time let's do it,


FF Challenge - You have 100 words to make me cum.You get 25 extra words if you write it on Thursday and do it in one draft, typos and all.GO!

"How do I know you?"

A friend friend said we should meet be friends as you pass my house every now and then.
She said we were like minded, and I needed someone like that here ....in the heart of darkness.

"LOL yes , and I can guess which friend said that"

Then it began. I like, a shared, a small note.

Hey there is a meteor shower this weekend, who can join me in the hot tub. I wasn't expecting any resonce, there was never any. 

"Intice me"

That was the message.

Hot coco, home made cookies, 

"And....."

A warm cabin

"And......"

Or a warm fire to fall breathlessly exhausted in front of.

"See you soon"


Friday, November 15, 2013

Flowers planted on your path

Just to see you smile. The sun shimmering in your hair. That's what summer is. Stripped to its bare bones, raw love, passon. No texting, no cards no letters. Just letting be. So as winter falls fast, I paint the floor where you so often walk, in the room we first fucked.....a deep barn red, and garnish it with a heart.

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

It's one of those days

When all I want to do is walk through your footsteps. Hold the memory of you close.....my love. And not flirt and fuck strangers to forget you. How much I love you so.

I love being chased

I love the phone sec, the texts, the tease. Even if it leads.to a dead end.

Have to paint the kitchen

An almost two week job......but a lover would like to help.....hmmmm
But he has to help groom trails.

Now that's a fire

It's freezing here. And i have no motivation to get stuff done.

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

It is all so overwhelming

I had to clean the house after driving 5 hours in a white out, on icy roads. Bow to fix all the husband"s  fuck ups in our finances, then to wah walls, and paint the storage room. Then to figure out what to do about plowing the drive way. We just got a foot or more if snow. I have a plow truck, but needs some minor work he promised to get done this summer,,,,,, for three years.   Venting. 

Monday, November 11, 2013

Husband just left for work.....

For two weeks, yes! Time to just relax and get the stench of him out of the house. Try to fix all his fuck ups.

Sunday, November 10, 2013

I was hoping

One of my lovers would have texted me..."I am in the audience, tuto brava diva....

The curtain closes on my front row seat for Lucia di lammermore.

Good night <3

What an awesome night.

I love singing ooera. I love the people, friendship, so amazing. High energy, creativity, we work so hard to get the right sound.

Saturday, November 9, 2013

A small man, with a little stick....

I said"ooooo the conductor is quite handsome" my fellow chorus member replied he was short, seemed snooty. I meant he was eye candy, not for personal use.
As time went on he proved to be just that. He made rude comments that shook the chorus conference. " you are nothing but community theater,...don't you all even know how to dress for a sitsprobe!?....watch my stick, aways watch, even if I don't cue you. "

His tempo changed more than we all changed our costumes.

He made remarks about our chorus mistress, and her assistant. "He seems to have some intelligence" WTF, really?

He directed the bel canto music to sound like a locomotive....not emotionally deep.

Thank goodness the review this morning noted "perfunctory" in his style. Yet the orchestra was strong, solid.
He deserves much worse.

Over anchorage last night

Friday, November 8, 2013

Opening night

As I sat down at the boardroom table this morning

Certainly not what I was expecting. The representative of the company I told could go fuck themselves was our newly elected member.

It was fine, it sure beats the year I told his boss he and his horse..... and then we both ended up speaking on the same panel.

I woke up warm and wet...

Dreaming, only, just wanting that pernsin I could make a scarf for, but wear it first so he has my scent.

Thursday, October 31, 2013

Practice, practice, practice....

I have been goofing off a little too much, and am very  far behind considering that this is Tec week. Spending the next few days cramming to memorize Italian.

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Assumptions.......

My Facebook page post was "where to eat in this town?" His response" I will buy you dinner come by the pub were I will be playing, or better yet call me in the morning, I  will message my phone number, lets do breakfast" wow.....really ....a man I had had crush on for almost----.years.

He is handsome, well educated, and very wealthy. I was so nervous, but messaged back a thank you, and I will call in the morning.

We met the next day at a sweet little place. I knew full well it was a kindness to a friend from out of town.  I was a few minutes early not used to the traffic I over compensated.
He greeted me "I am a little late, but who gives a fuck really!
we both laughed.I hate it when people assume that I am just one person , one-dimensional, I laughed, but really he only knew one part of me.

we were seated at a lovely table by the window.
our conversation started by his telling me his trip to a friend's daughters farm. He asked about the my place and what it was like this time of year.

I said this is the dust season, all of summer's activity must be cleaned away for winter. That the place has an identity of it's own. I just live there.
He asked what I do with my time.
I told him I sing, paint and write. And that I was in town for opera.

It turned out we knew people in common.
Also that we shared a common bond. That of enjoying the process of creating. Not the product. It is ever changing, alive, a mystery. "It comes from deep within the soul" he said and then with almost a tear in his eye.."I have never said that to anyone"
It was a great time. He shared how people often see him as one thing and rarely explore him. He laughed "and to to think the first time I saw you in that apron, I thought, she must sing opera!"

Assumptions.....I love going deeper, it is almost better than sex.

Let's hope I can share this, after all what good is a giant dick picture if you can't share....

http://gawker.com/christian-science-church-looks-like-a-giant-dick-from-s-1454084292

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Friday, October 25, 2013

i need to finish my FFF latter

I have had a very bad head acke and have not had great sex to inspire me. I will read all of yours, hopefully i will be a spark.

FFF I aaaaaaammmmmm Baaaaaaccccck!




FFF Oct 25 - Halloween Haunts

Halloween Theme - Be careful what you wish forRequired Words - "Invitation" AND "nightfall"Word Limit - 2 stories of 333 words eachForbidden words - Vampire, SuccubusBonus Points - Put something real about yourself in the story, but you don't have to tell us what it is.Extra Words - Share your story with 2 friends who don't know you write like this. You get 100 extra words for this one.

So the call came one afternoon "honey what you think of us buying this lodge" Well I could have said a lot of things but thinking it would never happen and not wanting to be a bitch I said yes. After all what harm could it do.

About a week latter we were signing papers for this "beautiful historic treasure". Not long after we we were cleaning, fixing, and basically getting stenchys smell out of it.

"I think I fucked your husband ....but I can't remember" she said as she sipped her drink. It was our grand opening. The whole community in Rual Alaska was invited. A why to get to know our neighbors.

"We welcome you, but, will never come here, this place is evil." They were from the church.

The food was great. I spared no expense. We hired a Celtic band who local.

"Do you smell that " she said " it is mother dugan's pipe. He still haunts this place, as dose Bonnie." "Bonnie?" I said. I had no belief in ghosts or other such foolishness. She walked away rolling her eyes.

We had our regular guests. We were the watering hole for some, for other just the coffee clatch before work.
He came in every week day. We talked about his family, his new car, his last hunting trip. Are the fish biting in the river yet, it all added up. We never really touched, but the comfort of his presents gave me strength for my long days.
It was a cold icy nightfall. I keep a room at the ready for people that might need it. His car pulled in. The drop in temperature to -46 is hard on vehicles. I invited him to  warm  by the fire. We both decided on a warmed brandy. It was dark and       cozy
In the weeks to come the house grew dark, a feeling i could not shake with sage, lavender, salt. The phone rang the voice on the other side was soft and shaky. " He died, the last person he was attempting to call was you

for more FFF fun follow this link

Happy Friday

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Have you ever really loved someone....

Just asked the husband. After all I was used to take care of his kid. Then to run his business while he drinks. Just feeling used and pissed off today.

Monday, October 21, 2013

Home again home again jiggiddy jog...

The liquor guy smiled sweetly when I told him that I would start to be home now. I so know he knows about the truck driver and I. And...somehow approves.

"Was that you going into the....

Why yes it was ....what were you doing there, I answer the text from skier. "Oh just dropping off some gals that are here to work at my office ".

Me ...visiting some friends. I was at the penthouse with owl.

It is so uncanny how he knows I am in town.

"So where are you now?"

Husband is at the hospital, I am sitting here  hoping he develops a blood clot since he made it through the surgery.

"Wow! Remind me never to get you angry, can we meet for coffee while you are in town?"

Yes I say, but our schedules end up not meshing.

Thursday, October 17, 2013

Rat in a maze....

That is what it is like talking to husband. But the maze changes with every turn. It makes my chest tight and is so stressful I can't breathe. The story changes so many times you have to restate his or your point to stay on track. He will not answer his phone and say I never call. The list of his crazy is so  Long. My friends make sure he is not here before they visit.

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Spent the day restraining my colorfull charter

As I sat at the table in the ornately decorated home of a board members. discussing the next gala, I tried heartily to remember all the things I learned in finishing school. Her mother sat across the table. The words spoken were carefully chosen, always positive , intelligent, and polite. The was fanomal, the inset set fireplace was    painted by a New York impressionist. from the floor up to the top of the high ceiling. Everything had meaning. The floors were man made pebbles, with the edges inlaid with stones from the bay where her father's ashes were spread. An occasional stone from memory's of places they had been. It was not at all stuffy. The custom made counters had shavings of wine bottles in it to match the Viking appliances.

But all very controlled.

It made me think of the owl and his sparse pent house apartment. The conversations we had of "serving" dinner parties with the family, the wife. How one must be. Explaining his and others like him their escape to women like me who fuck them senseless, in a dirty sort of way. Where we talk from our hearts, and even if it maybe temporary, it is real.

Monday, October 14, 2013

Ahhh the mo jo is back

Met with the owl at the penthouse. Opening the  door naked  full of self confidence, something I lacked. He very tactfully commented on it, " when you walk through my door please show some grace , sexual strength. Then as if knowing something had been dreadfully wrong he held me. After we had played for a while he asked me of my summer. With him it was so easy to talk "no bull shit. " So I missed most of the drama" I chuckled" yes" Needing not to explain more he held me. We talked about the up coming concert. I told him I was surprised by the call and that I had not been able to sing this summer because of my back injury. "A sprain "he said. No a ruptured disk his eyes grew with deep concern. He knew the severity of my pain and fear. "I turned down the chopper medivac and drove in" I said" I explained how singing involves more than a voice, the muscles from head to toe work together, "the instrument"
  We played for a long while. In the middle he took my hand, looking at me he said "like this" he entwined my fingers in his and his body followed.  I had to leave before the bubble bath. I received the call about the wine. 

Portfolio of gifted wine

Was with the owl when my phone rang. "I have the wines from Michael David he was so.thankful". 
I had made it it possible for him to get the wine he needed, or wanted for his yacht this summer and as a thank you he sent me a portfolio of his best from the vinard. As my "wine guy" explained each one, the growth of of the fruit, and all aspects of the the wine, "this one is broad" knowing the types of wine I prefer he was so delighted to be sharing these with me.   
He could see how how I was just not there. Knowing what summer had been like. The husband was bitterly cruel. It took a tole on my spirit that once had an enjoyment of all things and their detail. 
He and his wife invited me over to see the reinvention of his house. I remark that this time I would take them up on the offer, " Dr's orders I need to escape and have more fun" He shook his head yes, a much needed thing. 




I chickened out

I can't believe it. I dropped the husband at the hospital for his surgery, and was supposed to go to his penthouse apartment. I would be full of his cum for when the husband was recovering, smelling "freshly fucked" as owl put it.
I am always up for such things, but today I was feeling old and achy. So I had a message.

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Everything is ok

The person I was worried about ....all is fine. Had to ask one of his coworkers. So life will be back to normal in three to four weeks. Yea!!!!

Moose in river

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

FFF early again because of time constraints

Word Length  = 237Required Word = ResignationBonus Words = Tell us about her earrings (25 words)Extra Credit = Surprise me


She was on her way to the elevator and he held it for her. He had seen her before , in court maybe. The Law Firm was large. She knew him. Had watched him from the bench. He had a way about him, something that said he was more than the day to day suit.
As she entered she said "been a long day" He immodestly smiled and gave his song answer. They both knew the play. It started a conversation that ended them in the martini bar across the street.
He seemed much more shy than his work a day self. He offered her another drink,  she would take him home in a heart beat without any assistance from a drink, was resigned to the offer and let him think he needed to loosen her up.
She waited as he made his moves enjoying all of it, being courted........to her bed.....his?
The bar soon cleared as the night went on. 
He moved closer to her, slipping his hand up her skirt, he found she had nothing on. She smiled back at him and winked. he forced his fingers into her under the table. acquiesced to a quieter place, a cozy Conner. bending her over the chaise he entered her. watching for anyone who might come in. she felt so out of control of her body, resigned to him, and his command of her. 
When he was done he walked her to her car. 

The next morning he texted her....
Good morning your honor,  what will you be wearing under that robe today?
She texted him her answer:
The warm smell of your cum in me........ and nothing Else....


The leafs on her ear rings say it all to him, he was the leaf that floated by her waiting heart, lonely heart that cold crisp spring day.

I have stopped to glance in the quiet waters of the stream as a sun beam sparkled in the waters edge catching my eye, then I notice the leaf floating, a leaf, not much different from all other leaves, on any given day, just a leaf, but here in the quiet of the forest there is time to be, to take it in, all that the leaf truly is, in and of itself, not having to be anything more, than it's lovely green, the sparkle of water on it's flesh, it's sweet smell. .........good morning Leaf

good morning

A brisk , blustery day here. As winter sets in there seems to be a confused state that hits us Alaskans. Finishing up preparations for the long cold winter has it toll. What !!!! No steady lover for the winter???? How shall I make due?

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Fly fishing.....

He had been coming to the lodge for over 7 years now. I would get an email from him asking for the reservation. He and a friend stayed in the back in tents , I never really saw them.  They would fly fish, eat crazy man food, smoke cigars , and drink crown. A guy kind of thing.

Till that one summer, five years ago. It was late August, warm sunny. His friends decided to come in for some drinks. They were so fun, like boys. Bantering, joking, reminding me of how long they had been friends.

Some people you just enjoy being around.

Year after year he came, I would get a very nice hug. A gift and a card from his wife. Who wrote of how much he loved it here. And thanking me.

It was always a magical place when they were here. Other friends of mine would show up, and we ended up knowing so many folks in common.

They talked about their families. How much they loved their wives. He mostly talked if God. His faith.

He would write to say happy holidays. A few emails, hows the family.

He was the reson I fly fish. I loved the way he describe it. I had a need to know it better, I felt closer to him in some way.

This year I had not been fishing yet due to an injury.

He decided to take me back to his camp site.

I suited up. He made sure I had a net to keep the bugs off me. I liked the way he was so attentive.

He took my hand as we crossed the river, making sure I was ok. Perched me in a great spot. On my second cast I pulled in a nice one.

When he saw I was getting tired he came took my hand and crossed.

As we walked back he asked me questions, "would you keep cigars here for me.?",  of course I said

Latter I fixed dinner for us. He said" come sit by the fire with us. You need to do this more"

The fire was by the creek. The conversation as  as always, family. He said something about her, I said for some reason, maybe the wine, family first, or she is first .

He stood up, reached for my hand.
I looked up, have you grown weary of my company, he shook his head. As we walked to the lodge we held hands, talked about things I will never remember. It just felt good.

As we entered my home he took my hands, brought them together in front of me, pulling me into him. He kissed me, biting my lip, so soft. I kissed back.

He guided me to a chair, as I straddled him I said breathlessly " I have waited so long..........for you. He was un doing my buttons on my pants.....he sigh deeply, trembled and tossed me to the floor, as i fell I felt a gush. Our clothing came off so easily, from there it was like a lovely dance. We kissed each part as if we had known each other forever. Such sweet release. We paused sitting lotus in front of each other staring in his eyes I felt how strongly he had wanted me. He whispered ......I love you. We embraced.

It was one of those experiences where time cannot be measured. It was more than 6 hours.

He took my hand and gently led me to bed . We fell softly to sleep. The next morning we made coffee, said our good byes , and he was gone.

Rainy , windy day

Stuck inside. So busy, too busy for diversions, hee hee. I need to write about the summer and campfires, midnight sun love making.