just feeling old.....

And not very sexy. I have just been so vulnerable.  My marriage is falling apart, and I feel like I am free falling. I can't. Get sure footed as I am always in control.  I hurt my back , slipped disk, was almost medavaced out a few months ago. My Doc says it is Ok to feel this way, I say fuck that shit, but....I don't have the strength.  Just need to get my life back. I just need a new lover.  Let's just put that into the universe why don't we.