I hate it here, I want to go home.

The person that I'm staying with while I'm working on the Opera is picking on me and making me miserable and I hate it here. Other people have invited me to stay with them but had heard that I was staying with her because she told everybody of a stay with her before I had a chance to say all of them staying here they are and so I come back out of that the only reason that she wants me to stay with her is I'm a status symbol for her just like I know so and so and she's staying at my house and it just pisses me off and I'm getting tired of it. Then she's like really kills me and picks on me and tells me that I can't sing and you know and I'm horrible person because I have pure bred dogs and cats even though I've explained to her many many times that I donate to rescue I donate to help and the establishment of good health for dogs she knows that I have a 7 page contract for all of my dogs that are placed in people's homes. I have a lot of running sentences. But I'm just venting. Unlimits like watching the debate uh oh do you feel that black lives matter? No I feel all lives matter police officers the people that these idiots are shooting and take it on matter she is she just has no concept of what it takes to go into being a police officer. She gets a letter like little rant about you should have had a rescue dog and all these dogs are dying because you have a purebred dog just like I have a purebred dog because I know the dog breeder took care enough to breed it and put it place in a home where it wasn't going to end up and shelter. Also sterile into this you know the military that the military that you know and I don't say shit to anybody but I donate to wounded warriors Healing Waters fly fishing project I donated $4,000 in service dog to people coming back with PTSD I have donated meals I've donated money to rescue to the tune of thousands of dollars a year and she's sitting here on her High democratic fucking high horse telling me that I'm a bad fucking person. End of rant

Carmen brought a head cold up with her

Now the whole cast is dropping like flies. And I am one of them. Went by the drug store and got some sudafed.
I hope I can disguise my reindeer nose. And get some air in so I can sing out from notes. In other news my long lost lover that has been texting me sexy notes blah blah blah and I can't respond because my schedule is so full and I have a sinus infection. But prior to getting a sinus infection my sweet sweet lover came by and they had a little rough on my friends so far away she was at work. I was very bold he started talking about resend the same shit like this and I said you know I'm just not really into that. The funny thing is I'm friends with his lover on Facebook and she was sharing a recipe with his wife very interesting it's kind of a sweet little Polly thing I'm just at the end of the list.

In other news

It looks like I might be going out to lunch with that former lover I was talking about. It would be nice if we could be friends. But it's obvious that he has ulterior motives. I just don't want to go out to lunch with them and then have them say something mean to me. I might change my mind before the end of the week. I have plenty of excuses the opera that I'm working on is pretty intense.

Feeling better

Its funny how having a friend be upset because there's chaos in her marriage and well a break up a horrible breakup you make me just feel so miserable and hurt for her. She's doing much better now she feels better she's sleeping at night I think she's going to be ok. She's a strong educated women. This might be the best thing that's ever happened to her.

Also....

It's not something that I can tell my friend that her husband living now wifey girlfriend, is fucking my delivery guy because he loves big tits. Also the guy who sells me my alcohol is friends with all of them and just thinks its peachy keen. I think what bothered me most was that there's two sides to every story he said but the deal is that most men stories is that the wife is the horrible person and my wife is the reason I fuck around and everybody believes them. When my friend isn't somebody that you should be fucking around on she's a good loyal person. She also volunteered to sell her farm and everything she has so that her kids could continue to have a dad and they could live in a semi polyamorous relationship.
But when she found out the woman had many lovers this isn't just like lovers in a good way this is like I'm a slut but not an ethical one and she has a rap sheet of felonies in Alaska and a rap sheet of felonies in the place where she came from.
It's not like her husband came to her and said I have love for you and I have love for somebody else and let's be one family and let's move to Cordova and this will be just more people to love and it'll be fantastic. Basically he just fucked her fucked her over and plans to fuck her in court and take her kids and its just like fucked up and it just makes me so mad.
Not like you can talk to anybody about that shit because I have my secrets but the thing is is I water my own garden and I take care of my family I keep things discreet and ethical I'm not stealing somebody's husband does that make it ok what I do I'm not really sure. On the other hand my husband and I have an open relationship he fucks me once I fuck what I want what I want and we don't talk about it and we keep our business okay if things are better not that I trust him very much but things are better. Thanks for listening I appreciate all of you. I just don't want to see my friend go through this much pain it just seems so ridiculous and silly when people could just be a little more open and honest

Something is really bothering me

I have a friend whose husband is a bush pilot and he left her for a woman another woman have two small children and he just appeared in a text I'm with somebody else goodbye.
Maybe it's because I've been left before for other women with small children at home. But who does that who just works out on their family and just leave them for big titted waitress in Valdez Alaska.
My friends husband must be an idiot. Because the big titted waitress at the totem bar in Valdez is fucking a lot of different people at the same time. It's okay to be a slut its over okay to fuck but when you fuck somebody over like this it's not ethical it's not pretty and I just wish karma on both of them. Just really hurt and mad right now for my friend.

In the tub

Sitting in rehearsal the wonderful can your voice vibrated across the back of my neck. It was like an awakening. I could feel my body getting warmer he was like my brain was melting and warm.

The universe must of shifted sending  a flow of energy  my way.
I received a text from a number that was not familiar to me. " do you remember a tall red headed man from your past?"
Of course  I did. He was my Get under to get over. A wonderful  fuck, kink, bondage, hours of fun.
But why was he writing me now after  4 years?
He missed me, I understood  him.
Really? I think I just tolerated  him.
"Would I like to get back together?"
Hmmm, I might have to think on it.