It's safe to write again

Like being caught. .. I guess.

Last week I met up with a long time  hmmm friend I will call him that. We are bonded by similar interests.

Although we have had random sex twice in our two years together.
He mostly likes to talk and touch himself.  Whether in person or over the phone.

This time we met in a parking lot by the inlet.

I have a feeling he does this often.

Watching the ice flos pass we touched eacher.

No place to meet up is a problem.

Although I have the keys to friends apartments it creeps me out that they could come home on their lunch hour. ..or their child could.

Getting caught is not something I like.

Not after the phone company lady came in on what was an amazing birthday with the truck driver.

There's been a break through

A fellow blogger posted some information regarding the non closure of sites like this.

So I may start rambling in your ear again.

Wish I had some sexy stuff but it has been pretty dry.

I feel lonely

It's a good thing .....at least I feel something. 

And I miss me. Who ever I was .... I long time ago.

I loved music. ...deep and dark. With coffee ...in the morning,  and late at night. In the dark of winter.

I miss me.

If you would like to continue see and reading my blog please let me know I will add you to my contact list. Also after changes take affect you can invite friends.

The new policy will go into effect on the 23rd of March 2015. After this policy goes into effect, Google will restrict access to any blog identified as being in violation of our revised policy. No content will be deleted, but only blog authors and those with whom they have expressly shared the blog will be able to see the content we've made private.

My blog is being deleted

Oh no what to do????

The diet

The husband is on a diet. ...which means I am too.
It's not so bad I need to loose 20 lbs.
This diet is easy, I loose weight even if I cheat.

Best part. .Husband is sober.
It's not great, but a huge improvement.

At the very bottom of the list

At the top, the wife the kids,
The family, friends,
The coworkers, 
Poly higher ups,
It might come latter on if at all,

For the truck driver never.

I am less than a dirty secret.

Our love glances escape even the finely tuned ears and eyes that know, and have experience.

If it were young, free, it would be felt by all who know and sighed with,
Winked at, acknowledged.

It sits in the corner like a forgotten photograph, a scrap of paper not yet tossed aside.

And waits......

I have slathered my Facebook page

With love quotes,  sonnets,  and poems I have written.

In hopes he will notice,  or perhaps just to exhaust my soul that can not rest, and crys out desperate for him to hear it.

It goes unnoticed,  except for  friends who like them, or comments saying "my favorite" even a share or two.

Have wonderful day, hope you all happy valentines day

No truck driver

Trying to get over how nonessential I am.

So I texted poly friend, just a simple "hey".

The phone rang in an instant.  "Hello" he said in his I am such a sexy stud man voice.... :-p

Where are you. ...

Not in town four hours away.

We talked about the delivery guy, the no show, not reliable,  how I can't figure out feeling this way for him.

That it has been over seven months since I had sex.

He said it was that Ling for him too. At least the real kind of sex. No just a hook up, release and go.

I joked that if I lived closer we could have a normal fucking affair like everyone else.

He said yes, because you are my friend having an affair with you would special.

It comforted me slightly.

I am in chat

Not as fun, but if your bored such as I am come in. Maybe we can warm up this winter day.

The delivery guy passes but with any luck he will stop.

We are in chat....

Come join us

http://client00.chat.mibbit.com/?server=irc.synirc.net&channel=%23cake

Trying a new cheating site

It is new in town...the US.... and is much simpler than Ashley.

It's ...Gleenen. maybe I will see some of you there ;-)

Just feeling blah

I just don't know what is up with me. Going to get some acupuncture next week. That should help.

The truck driver passed this morning.  Don't know if he will stop tomorrow.  It's snowing, it Valentines day this weekend so he may have to get home to wife and getto. Carrs. Girl.

Feeling sorry for myself. .....yes.

Parts of my life are so good, fantastic in fact. The shity parts are really shity.
Can't get out of my funk. It sucks.

I need regular arms rapped around me. 

Just curious

Who reads me? Why? And where from?

Moving from friendship and phone sex..

To what?
As we text back and forth this morning is more than clean clear he is not my ultimate goal.

Waking up slowly in bed.....

Yes.....

As if time stands still..

I think we need a few hours in a hotel. ..

I love the darkness and the quiet. ...

To hear everything,  nuances..

Then I plunge deep into you the ultimate connection

Nope... not really.  That is not exactly tantric. But I will let it go.
Can this one even be taught?

Mid winter blues

I just don't seem to be enthusiastic about anything. I have work that needs to be done for an upcoming show, I get to do an opera event that will just be awesome,  I have SD ....maybe...stopping in this week, and an intriguing new guy.

WTH?

I think it is the mental abuse from the husband in part.  It's overwhelming.  The reason I seek out side my marriage relationships.  I am not denying I am non monogamous,  but to just have someone take an interest in me and not have it all be some kind of mind game I need to figure out so I don't get verbal attacks.
I just am in a needy mood.
I need held all night long.
Someone to have breakfast with no strings attached.
Sit by the fire with coffee.
Read the paper.
Boeing stuff.

Apparently I am a sapiosexual.

I was diagnosed by the woman giving me my facial peel today.
Well she is not just just any woman.  She does my make up when I sing in opera.
So nice when you meet like minded people.  it frustrates me when so many people want to be called pollyamorous. And they are not open. I see the poly community as one is integrity.
Just as I see non monogamy as a State of being.
It is a shame we can't be open. But things are changing .....for the better.

Well I am ready...

Ready for something new, someone real, deeper.
It just seems that there is so much holding back and not enough letting go.

It was a long two weeks.  Husband seemed to break everything he touched.  The house was filthy. 

It just is time.

:-(

Seahawks lost.