Great weekend

At a bluegrass festival. Very fun. Hope everyone of you  having a great time.

Feeling shitty.

Husband is home. The mind games are unbelievable and maddening. 

Two days ago "hey let's stay at this place it is close to the theater."

Today." I can't get a ride to the theater. The shuttle say they don't go there" take a cab. The cab cab driver doesn't know where it is I just had him drop me off here" um. Can you walk?

"Yes but I can't remember where the theater is that I told you I knew where it was yesterday. "

OK so he asked if I could take him to the airport to get his car. Then said he would get it in the morning. Then said I am taking a cab to get my car because you don't want to be with me. Then said he wanted to go to dinner but intimated not with me.  Then started shouting how I am shucking and don't want to be with him.

I whipped out.

Too early for martinis

Now I Understand why  people drink when they feel like that. Deep ache inside. Makes you want to whine and you catch yourself weeping for no reason.

God I am not this person.  His smell. His walk. His voice bring shudders.

He is totally not my thing. We are so far apart as the moon.

And yet I am somehow saved.
I am now human.

Something I spent many years in therapy trying to achieve.
My feelings tucked deep in the darkness of my being.

Too early for martinis.  They soothe the desire I have waited a lifetime to feel.

I think I know what's missing

I have always been able and to feel like I'm turning the all the heads in the room.

I just feel so unsexy. It has always been a part of my life that much power. And to say no not with words ... with my eyes. I just feel like nobody wants me and I'm so in loveable.

So and fuckable. It's enough to make somebody depressed.

No truck driver today

It is sad when he passes. Its going to be a long 2 weeks with a husband home. And there are lots of things to do around here for the summer. We will have staff to train. Gardens to tend.

And I am running for office. 

I will miss him terribly. 

Fear and loathing on the campaign trail

Well I have been asked to run for office.  Don't get excited the party wants to see blue on the ticket throughout the state. 
The cost may change my mind. But the drive to be out there trying to change things.
Wow.

And my opponent is a former lover. What just desserts that would be if I could make a showing.

What is it about him.....

He smiles at me ....I crumble.
He speaks.....I grow wet it runs down my legs.

After I am calm my brain thinks again. My heart feels full.

I am so grateful.

A little bit of sunshine .....

If only it weren't just to get him off this morning.......

" Hey, is the skiing over for the winter? "

Yes it is how was your winter?

" It was OK. Kinda boring in parts. Rebuilt motor on bike,  new cams etc. Got fucked some,  but not enough :-) "

Are you making the long trek to the lower48?

" Yes. I haven't decided when yet. I have a minor electrical problem, and have to replace seals on front forks. I have tickets to Sasquatch on May 23rd at the Gorge Amphitheater in Quincy, WA. But, venue isn't that great. So, may sell tickets an wait until early June to leave. "
Our festival is always there. I am not sure what the prospects are for sex. There are plenty of women but who knows what goes on. I am usually busy.

"Festival? Sex?  Sounds like a great combination. LOL
Speaking of getting stuck, LOL. When r U coming to Anchorage again? Oh, and I definitely plan to stop by Lodge on way out of Alaska. When was last time you had multiple orgasms :-) "

Yes. I am hope each year I can have some sort of flirtatious moment in the midst of the festival. 

"Speaking of getting stuck, LOL. When r U coming to Anchorage again? Oh, and I definitely plan to stop by Lodge on way out of Alaska. When was last time you had multiple orgasms :-) "

"Needed what? That U r a hot, fun fuck. U soak my bed when we fuck. It's very exotic. I love fucking your drenched, swollen cunt. It's very hot. And, those times are to die for :-) Seriously "

"That was fun. sometimes your too shy. Not criticism. Just a point. You should get stoned and drunk and have a real nasty fuck session :-) For you, not your partner. "

I want ....it's hard to describe.....
I want to be bold in that I can just go in the direction my body needs .... That nice flow ...

" Oh for Pete's sake, LOL. You have a hot needy cunt,  awesome tits and itchy nipples. U need to fuck. And, fuck. And, fuck"

"And know your making my cock hard, and know itchy knowing what it's like buried in that swollen, tight cunt squirting like a fire hose :-) "

I want my clit. Sucked. Hard and soft

I want you to bury your face on my cunt

Nibble my tits

The back of my neck

I want to see you dizzy

Weak with lust

Till you can't take it anymore.....

And you slide into my swollen cunt

"There ya go. Now I'm feeling it. And U taste so good. But, it's hard to keep my mouth on your cunt you're squirming around so. LOL "

Yes....I do squirm. Lol

I like this wild man. I do get a little bored.  But not with him or the sex.  He is a friend..A nasty frind. I like that.

Still comming out of hibernation

As you can see from my posts I just have been blah. Despite the occasional 5 min sex reprieves from the truck driver. Sweet as it is it just doesn't fill the gap between lonely and lifeless to fully awake.

Granted it has been a very hard winter with husband mind games and the continued isolation of living here.

Veggie porn

Looking at flowers

To line the path  the truck driver walks on. I think they should look like.....pussy.

Blogger is not letting me respond to your comments.

Thank you for reading and hearing me. As I sit here it is still spring here in this part of Alaska. So I am coming out of hibernation in cabin fever. If I could just do that in a normal Alaskan fashion instead of some of the bullshit that goes on in my community would be very happy. I think the thing that really ticks me off about the last thing that I wrote about the crazy stuff. Is that in my life style I should be able to have my privacy in my affairs. Also my husband should have his privacy and whatever he chooses to do. Without people coming in and stirring the shit. And trying to attack and break apart my contract marriage whatever the f*** it is that I'm living in. Its just hard to go from being monogamous 2 whatever this is. I mean where are your standards of effects. It used to be that you never broke up another person's marriage you didn't even think about messing around with somebody's husband or boyfriend or even somebody who is interested in somebody never got between that. And now here I am f****** around with married man but there has to be a standard. Where you don't mess with their primary relationship. I mean I have feelings and I tried to stay up until the fat so that I'm not being jealous or forward or interfering or having delusional fantasies about leaving my husband for somebody else and taking away somebody else's husband I mean there has to be some point of ethical demeanor.  
Now I am talking crazy.

Why does a person do a thing like this

The husband has been telling everyone who we will listen for over a year that it is because of me that our car insurance is so high.  When in fact it is because AARP. Doesn't have that kind of coverage here.  I changed it to another company and it is one third the cost. 
He just makes me out to be a total looser asshole.

little crazy goes a long way

This beautiful sunny day in the garden turning the soil  When a van pulled into my driveway. This woman jumps out and she has some movies that my husband had lent her. We had a little conversation back and forth. When she starts telling me that I have it good here I don't deserve it and I treat my husband badly. Then she says she had heard all of the things that I have done to my husband. And I asked her who has who had told her these things. With a smirk on her face she said I'm not going to tell you. & I said please call me so that I can call this person and get to the bottom of it. She went on to tell me that I have it so good here. I reminded her that I bought this place that I buy the things that are in this place. That I landscaped this place that I bought the stuff that she is so envious of in this place with my own money. So with a smirk on her face she continued to lambaste me. She also told me that I would be moving out of the house and she would be moving in with my husband. Finally I said who told you all of this stuff. And she said your husband. At that point having just come from the hen house I took the eggs that were in my hands and started slamming her with them. I did not miss one she was in shock. Then I was shouting as well get off my f****** property and don't you ever mother f****** come back here. All in all it was really kind of comical. Why in god's name would someone get it in their head that I would be moving out of my home that typing before so that she could move in with my husband. And then I remembered my husband is not a smart man. He told her all of these stories about how horrible a wife I am. To a total stranger. A crazy stranger.

Do you think you can handle two cocks ?

as the truck driver stood besides his truck ready to get inside he said " do you think you can handle two cocks" sweet life face red and beautiful. We had just made love. Laugh out loud. We f***** . We f***** just a little because he had to go just does it always is. As he stood there I shrugged my shoulders and said is it because I'm old. He shook his head and said you smart ass. I hope I didn't make you mad. I said I think I can handle two cocks. I mean really what's to handle about it  he makes it sound like its rocket  science.

An important question

The truck driver asked come up for the weekend with his friend so we could have a threesome. they both are very into anal sex. And they have been friends for over 30 or more years. He said think of it I will be able to sleep with you all night long and hold you close. And my friend will be on the other side. His eyes were soft,  his vioce.....

What do you think?

This is more than a three some.