Getting a like on a post from the truck driver has been our only contact. Writing things that could possibly get him to ask if he could come out to the new house ....finely get a response and ask him for his phone number.
we haven't hooked up yep, but sexted once.
then, I got a horrific cold/ear infection. Couldn't even hear anything. Spent most of four weeks in bed coughing.
In the mean time I bought a new house, replace the floors with oak, had an enormous deck put on. The hot tub was delivered. A fireplace was put in the man cave.
After all I have been through I seem to have lost my sexual power. I feel like I had great props in the lodge. It had a darkness, secrets could be made and keep there.
A fire place, hideaways, intrigue. I had a personality that was mystery, bold, and off the cuff. men wanted to fuck me. I was happy to create an illusion.
It helped me through a very hard life. So totally hated it there. the sex got through it, gave me power, comfort in a time, sixteen years, of complete isolation from normal.
I wonder what is left of me, what needs to be passed on. I don't want to live in what once served me.
1 comment:
Awesome to see you post! You are so resilient! I hope you can try out various "new you's" and pick the one that makes you feel best.
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