happy new year

Being stood up

I have been stood up so many times my husband thinks I love him......

Really.

He has gotten 4 steak and lobster dinners.  Hot rub downs with specially prepared oils ....in a hot sauna with an enormas natural sea sponge.

The husband has gotten the pleasure of numerously sex toys, new positions I was promised By others.

And..... imported corsets, silk stockings, and some of the best best wines

I love the planning of a good fuck. The fire in the fire place,  a massage. Texting it up.

Sweet fucking throughout the night, and breakfast in the morning.

My winter is being wasted by missed connections, cock blocking by Chrismas, and wives and children. Oh and shity weather.

the roads have been icy

the trails have very little snow.we can't groom the trails and no one can come up the highway due to the roaddue to the road conditions. It It's nice to have a quiet and the alone time. But it would be nice just for one guest to come up to the lodge and hang out in the hot tub or in the sauna.I have a meal with to sit in front of the fireplace. Take a ski.
Soulstice is
the new moon so the lights over Mount McKinley would be spectacular.
out of frustration and horniness I texted the skier.

me: Hey

Skier: hey you how is the snow

Me: ok not muc  but skiable.

Skier: I need it

Me: me too

skier: hm mmm...

are you at home.

Me: yes
I need to get in the shower soon,
want to make me wet before I jump in?
Can you call?

Skier: no privacy but I want to

Me: I will think of your cock in me while I touch myself...

I will think of you wanting me...

My taste ...on your lips...kissing m=-e

Lol am I being too much of a tease?

Skier: Oooooooo keep going
I should drive out today to check the snow....lol

Me: you should
Let me know if you can, I will fire up the sauna

Skier: I should of thought of this earlier......dam lol
 Me : lol, I had better stop playing and get my shower then

Mmmmmmm one more

Skier: let me call and listen...i can't talk much

Me : ok

He called, we came togather, I came more

He wispered "I so want to come there.......


Such is life in a remote place. sigh... text rape.

I could use a martini

They take the sting away from missing something I made up in my head as being real. I am not for sure what it is, but I have this i need to move in a different direction. I have so much work to do it is over whelming
Then I add to it by asking to serve on another board.
All I want to do really is sit here in front of my window and paint the mountain.... be the next Sidney Laurence.

I just don't know what's next, and I want something more. More than the " I want you, I need you, to be deep in you, to eat you for a long time" then just drive by with no text, no sorry I don't have time today, and not hear from him for months.
Until "will you be home today" Can I stop by?"  THen he doesn't.

A steady lover with no ties, respect, open sharing, good sex, and a better marriage because I don't want the trauma of a break up

You work so hard and if it falls apart you both loose fanatically and you have to start from scratch.
Best to come to some agreement.
Meet someone in the same boat, be happy.

Not something I normally do......

It had been so long. Months in fact. I have been home for a month. Second guessing choices. Should I have had the truck driver over while I was in town? Gotten fucked in the morning, then in the afternoon to do it all over the next day. It was not like he was coming to visit, tell me how his day went, what life is like with his other fuck buddies.

I admit it, I want ore, and I am realizing that he is not capable of the things I need or the person who can make a more complex relationship, with more to offer both mentally and physically.

I have to admit I am more. Not that he is less. It's just that he sees me as nothing more than a fuck along the highway........