That feeling when you know it's over

It's been a very busy summer with work not much play. And now it's fall so many projects that need to be done this year I'm starting work on Carmen in with the Anchorage opera. I'm just coming to that realization and that horrible feeling it just kind of jolts through your body like you've been electrocuted that even though No it's just fuck on the highway, tell myself this and yet feels a relationship wait it's not a relationship just a fuck on the highway. He has so many others. He thinks he's such a game player that he has a game whatever that is. My relationships have always been deeper broader, more mutual something that has  dimension. Respect. Nothing here just let it go