Fall is now apon us.

Posting from my new computer.
It's been a long summer. I kind of forget who I am working 16-18 hour days with the same scrip,


"How is your day, what was the weather like, is everything Ok here?......."


Not much exciting really. a few interesting tid bits. All the spring truck driver stuff , then busy hit.


The husband was home for all of it. I literally forget who I am. This morning I glanced in the mirror and discovered that my body is pretty, my hair has grown longer. Husband has been back to work now for 2 weeks. It is ok to be again.


I still have not felt anything from the waist down.


maybe today?

It comes home today

The only place where I can say what I truly feel. It comes home today.
Just for a few days then it leaves to go play golf and then it gets to go to work again.
My summer is just about over working everyday for 16 hours. I barely leave the house.
But as long as he can stay working and I have a two-week vacation from him life is so much better. It's like he has absolutely no idea how to treat another human being.
I'm not going to sit and argue with him.
I did not have a garden today because he thought that his idea about having a garden was just everything so the garden died there's nothing in the garden I did not serve any vegetables from the garden this summer because he killed it he killed the garden.
I think it's going to be a great winter I'm going to spend more time doing things that I like.
Last year I basically worked all winter just like I do in the summer.
But this is what owning your own business is like. There's no downtime.
The new hot tub arise on Friday that should be wonderful.
So it goes down to the hot tub store and says she can have whatever she wants.
So I get a call from my friend at the hot stuff store and she's like your husband is so wonderful he's going to let you have whatever you want aren't you a spoiled person.
No I'm not a spoiled person he just wants me to pay for it that's why I can have whatever I want.
I just responded with I'm just so lucky .
And he comes home he's like well how you going to pay for it and I said I guess you're going to take a loan or maybe you could use some of the money that you have hidden in other accounts aren't you.
He took a loan. I bought the last three hot tubs. It's his turned put some money back into this place.
Well enough venting.
It comes home today

All is back to normal

And everything seems right with the world.
The husband is back at work and it's so nice just to get things done around the house without somebody underfoot micromanaging me.
And the delivery guy is back in town.
He is back on his route.
We have been together in the in the greenhouse. Making him grow there.
Dropping to my knees in the warm rich soil, looking up into his icy blue eyes. As he reaches for his belt buckle and stops, you know what to do he says.
I unbuckled his belt and slide him into my mouth until he can take it no longer he turns me around and leans me up against the raised bed post and f**** me from behind.
Yes all is right with the world.
As our short Alaskan Summer comes to an end I will enjoy every moment that I get to be in his company.

There's been a change in plans

He came back. It will be s trail separation. Or something like that.   She will stay in the lower 48, he here. Resuming his same route.

I did miss him. As much as I denied it.

It felt like tangled thread, broken glass.

I couldn't think my way through it, make it not real.

There is something, 

When or if I figure it out I will let you know.

The husband skipped taking his meds for 3 weeks

It was back to crazy.  Everyday holding my breath, and not reacting to his behavior. 

It was good and bad. It shuts him down when there us no response,  but I live on egg shells, trying to not engage. But it takes less time to recover once he is out of the house.
He is back to work for a short time.
The house stays clean, and less Kaos.

Watched another family, friend leave the state this week.  It's heart breaking to see them go. The job loss here is unbelievable, creating a mass migration south.

Some women would like that

" hun if you could just lose about 30 pounds I'd be so proud of you, you're out there and Anchorage representing me on the lodge and I can think, there you are my hot wife "

But here I am being loved admired licked and kissed by men who like me just the way I am.
But in the hot tub be asked me if I still wanted that Mercedes-Benz period I'd really rather have a Lexus. If I have to live this doll and boring slave kind of existence Alexis would help a lot.

So many women want a sugar daddy I just want to be lick and kissed and cuddled.